Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Fifteen and Pregnant
Ah, this is gonna be a good one. We open with fumbling teenagers and horrid music. They have the sex. Boy (Ray) dumps her soon after. Girl (Tina Spangler played by Kirsten Dunst) borrows her mom's frumpy mom jeans. (cuz she's gonna be a MOM) Oops she's pregnant!
She tells her mom (Park Overall yay!) and runs out of the room. Camera pulls back to reveal redonkulously fake rain coming down. Backstory: Mom and Dad are separated, BFF has a two-year old, family is uber christian and against abortion and birth control. Also, everyone's dressed like it's the late 80s early 90s, but this movie came out in 1998.
Tina's worried she has to quit soccer. BFF's baby is annoying. They keep playing this godawful song "Love me, please me! Feel me, touch me!" (Not anything like the Who's Tommy) Tina takes out her crucifix and says sorry to god. More background: Tina has younger sis and bro who are total assholes.
Ray, the boyfriend randomly shows up at the door on Christmas day. Whatever happens next?
Mom sends him packing. Mom and Dad (David Andrews) fight about what to do with the baby. Surprise, Ray is cool with the pregnancy. He's wildly unrealistic about it of course. And there's that horrid song again. I gotta find out what that is. In the meantime, the principal tells dad Tina's got to go to a special school for pregnant kids. Just like in Too Young to Be a Dad!) Do these schools really exist? Also, the title is 15 and preggers, yet the dad seems to think she's still in junior high. hmm. Then the coach comes into the principal's office and says--by the way, your daughter just fell on the field.
Her parents take her to a really low budget clinic and they're all ashamed and stuff--too ashamed to take them to their "real" doctor. Looks like they might have to dip into Tina's college fund to pay for the medical bills! Ha! Pregnant teenager school is in a trailer! Nice. Mom takes Tina and Ray to pregnancy class. Some girls asks about pooping during labor. Tina's dream is to be a good wife and mother. Grand! Tina doesn't want maternity clothes, she just wants overalls. Park overalls? ooh, she's having a boy! Ray picks up some redhead at school. Might be Tina's friend, but I didn't get a look at her face. A teen mother comes to the class to tell them how much their lives are gonna suck. Baby daddy split, she's exhausted and miserable.
Tina's has a screaming match on the phone. Acting's so bad, I don't really know what's going on. But Tina's sad so I guess she's ALL ALONE. Grandma comes to visit--she's ghetto and brings a days worth of food on the bus. Tina's gettin' fat. BFF's mom is throwing her a baby shower. Park Overall vacuums and does the laundry. In like, real time. Shit, this is starting to look like that other prego teen movie. Wow, Tina's not gaining enough weight. Ray wants to be invited to the shower cuz his family's hooking them up with gifts.
Finally some action. Tina sees Ray making out with the slutty redhead at the mall. Ray acts like a jerk and Tina bites back. Grandma's really nosy and interfering in the parent's marriage. Dan shoves her back on the bus, picnic basket and all. Grandma tells dad to TRY HARDER. Awkward! No one shows up to the shower. Tina cries in bed with these hideous plaid pajamas, then says being pregnant gives her something to look forward to. Then she kinda blames her mom for everything. Phew, this movies going a lot faster than Too Young to be a Dad. Lil sis, who apparently moved in with dad, is back now. And dad wants to come back too. Hot!
The family's going out to dinner, I think a different actor is playing lil bro now. Egads, it's mother's day, and they're like celebrating. Tina's worried that her baby will be ugly. BFF yells at her for being shallow. Lil sis Rachel has middle child sydrome and hates her family. Tells them they're prolly going to hell and wants to move in with grandma. But then she breaks her leg--foiled again. Tina's classmate had a premie. Aw. Can't make fun of that. I hate to say it, but this movie isn't half bad. Park Overall is golden. And lil sit jumps on the bus to grandma's as soon as her leg heals. Seriously when is Tina due? Dad moves back in.
And it's graduation day at teenage pregnancy school. Side note: Turns out BFF, who looks about 30, is only in high school. Dad randomly asks his daughter to dance and gives her a corsage. She tells him not to be weird. I guess she's missing some jr high prom? They slow dance to a creepy song. Now Dad is massaging his wife's feet. Omg, Tina just pulled up her shirt to reveal her paper mache tummy. Wow, Kirsten Dunst won an award for this! Best Performance by a Young Actress in a Miniseries/Made-for-TV Movie.
10 minutes to go, time to give birth! Usual screaming and yelling and sweating we've seen a million times. Ray walks in with his floozy. Dad tells him his sperm doesn't automatically grant him access to the birthing room. Nice! Kirsten's screaming like a mofo--she really sealed the deal with that YoungStar award. And here's . . . Caleb! Grandma and sis arrive. The sister's tell e/o they look thinner. Tinkling piano music and slo-mo and voiceover. The end. oh wait--for more information please call the sexual assault line. I think Lifetime got its movies mixed up!
¶ 10:28 PM
Ah, this is gonna be a good one. We open with fumbling teenagers and horrid music. They have the sex. Boy (Ray) dumps her soon after. Girl (Tina Spangler played by Kirsten Dunst) borrows her mom's frumpy mom jeans. (cuz she's gonna be a MOM) Oops she's pregnant!
She tells her mom (Park Overall yay!) and runs out of the room. Camera pulls back to reveal redonkulously fake rain coming down. Backstory: Mom and Dad are separated, BFF has a two-year old, family is uber christian and against abortion and birth control. Also, everyone's dressed like it's the late 80s early 90s, but this movie came out in 1998.
Tina's worried she has to quit soccer. BFF's baby is annoying. They keep playing this godawful song "Love me, please me! Feel me, touch me!" (Not anything like the Who's Tommy) Tina takes out her crucifix and says sorry to god. More background: Tina has younger sis and bro who are total assholes.
Ray, the boyfriend randomly shows up at the door on Christmas day. Whatever happens next?
Mom sends him packing. Mom and Dad (David Andrews) fight about what to do with the baby. Surprise, Ray is cool with the pregnancy. He's wildly unrealistic about it of course. And there's that horrid song again. I gotta find out what that is. In the meantime, the principal tells dad Tina's got to go to a special school for pregnant kids. Just like in Too Young to Be a Dad!) Do these schools really exist? Also, the title is 15 and preggers, yet the dad seems to think she's still in junior high. hmm. Then the coach comes into the principal's office and says--by the way, your daughter just fell on the field.
Her parents take her to a really low budget clinic and they're all ashamed and stuff--too ashamed to take them to their "real" doctor. Looks like they might have to dip into Tina's college fund to pay for the medical bills! Ha! Pregnant teenager school is in a trailer! Nice. Mom takes Tina and Ray to pregnancy class. Some girls asks about pooping during labor. Tina's dream is to be a good wife and mother. Grand! Tina doesn't want maternity clothes, she just wants overalls. Park overalls? ooh, she's having a boy! Ray picks up some redhead at school. Might be Tina's friend, but I didn't get a look at her face. A teen mother comes to the class to tell them how much their lives are gonna suck. Baby daddy split, she's exhausted and miserable.
Tina's has a screaming match on the phone. Acting's so bad, I don't really know what's going on. But Tina's sad so I guess she's ALL ALONE. Grandma comes to visit--she's ghetto and brings a days worth of food on the bus. Tina's gettin' fat. BFF's mom is throwing her a baby shower. Park Overall vacuums and does the laundry. In like, real time. Shit, this is starting to look like that other prego teen movie. Wow, Tina's not gaining enough weight. Ray wants to be invited to the shower cuz his family's hooking them up with gifts.
Finally some action. Tina sees Ray making out with the slutty redhead at the mall. Ray acts like a jerk and Tina bites back. Grandma's really nosy and interfering in the parent's marriage. Dan shoves her back on the bus, picnic basket and all. Grandma tells dad to TRY HARDER. Awkward! No one shows up to the shower. Tina cries in bed with these hideous plaid pajamas, then says being pregnant gives her something to look forward to. Then she kinda blames her mom for everything. Phew, this movies going a lot faster than Too Young to be a Dad. Lil sis, who apparently moved in with dad, is back now. And dad wants to come back too. Hot!
The family's going out to dinner, I think a different actor is playing lil bro now. Egads, it's mother's day, and they're like celebrating. Tina's worried that her baby will be ugly. BFF yells at her for being shallow. Lil sis Rachel has middle child sydrome and hates her family. Tells them they're prolly going to hell and wants to move in with grandma. But then she breaks her leg--foiled again. Tina's classmate had a premie. Aw. Can't make fun of that. I hate to say it, but this movie isn't half bad. Park Overall is golden. And lil sit jumps on the bus to grandma's as soon as her leg heals. Seriously when is Tina due? Dad moves back in.
And it's graduation day at teenage pregnancy school. Side note: Turns out BFF, who looks about 30, is only in high school. Dad randomly asks his daughter to dance and gives her a corsage. She tells him not to be weird. I guess she's missing some jr high prom? They slow dance to a creepy song. Now Dad is massaging his wife's feet. Omg, Tina just pulled up her shirt to reveal her paper mache tummy. Wow, Kirsten Dunst won an award for this! Best Performance by a Young Actress in a Miniseries/Made-for-TV Movie.
10 minutes to go, time to give birth! Usual screaming and yelling and sweating we've seen a million times. Ray walks in with his floozy. Dad tells him his sperm doesn't automatically grant him access to the birthing room. Nice! Kirsten's screaming like a mofo--she really sealed the deal with that YoungStar award. And here's . . . Caleb! Grandma and sis arrive. The sister's tell e/o they look thinner. Tinkling piano music and slo-mo and voiceover. The end. oh wait--for more information please call the sexual assault line. I think Lifetime got its movies mixed up!
¶ 10:28 PM